The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

I just finished reading this book, and I must admit it’s been a while since I was last nearly moved to tears by a story.  I haven’t seen the movie so I thoroughly enjoyed every word of this. 

It begins in Afghanistan and tells the story of Amir and his friendship with Hassan, their family’s Hazara servant who was of the same age.  Amir and Hassan grew up together and Amir treated Hassan like they were brothers.  Even Amir’s father seemed to love Hassan like he was his own son, which made Amir terribly jealous.  Everything Amir did to try to gain his father’s praise and acknowledgement seemed to end in failure, and it made things worse when Hassan always managed to save him from trouble.  And so though Amir truly loved Hassan as a brother, he grew up feeling unworthy and incompetent next to his friend.  He gradually became bitter, contemptuous, and he begrudged Hassan every little thing that his father did for the servant.  The only time Amir managed to gain the respect and praise of his father was when he won the kite fighting tournament, but it was also on that same day that his fate and that of Hassan’s will change forever.  For it is on that day that Amir commits the greatest betrayal against his friend and begets the guilt and regret which he will suffer for the rest of his life. 

The story of Amir follows the tumultuous changes that Afghanistan suffered since the 1980’s.  The wars, Russia, and the Taliban – all those political forces ravaged the land and destroyed the dreamlike homeland that Amir grew up in.  He and his father fled to America, and Amir thought he would also escape his terrible sins against Hassan, but of course he couldn’t escape from himself.  Eventually he did find some measure of success and joy, but the past inevitably comes back to haunt us all.  A distress call from a beloved friend compels him to go back to Afghanistan, only to be confronted with painful and incredible truths about who he and Hassan truly were, to witness the destruction and agony of his homeland, to relive every horror and compound every sin, at last to face the greatest demon from his past, to be presented with a chance to right his wrongs, and eventually to find redemption and forgiveness. 

This book put me through an emotional storm.  At first I thought it would bore me; that it would be preachy and moralistic. But as I followed the story of Amir and Hassan, I grew closer and closer to them, could almost hear their voices in my head.  I felt my heart clench and throb painfully for Hassan, mourned for the cruel fate that he had to face and marvelled at his integrity, loyalty, and purity.  I just knew life would deal him the cruellest hand – the world tends to extend the harshest punishment on those who deserve it least.  But I could not retain any anger toward Amir either.  He, too, suffered in his own pure way.  It is only those with a conscience who suffer.  I’m so glad he managed to do something in the end; that he did try his best to atone for the wrongs he did.  In the end, that is the only thing any of us could try to do.  We cannot go back and undo any of our mistakes.  Even though the story was filled with so much pain, it also provided some small measure of forgiveness and hope.  It is told in a voice that is straightforward, honest, and sincere.  It gave me a clearer picture of what faith actually means and what power it can provide.  I strongly recommend this book to everyone.  We can all learn something important from this unforgettable and moving story.  

Only Yesterday (1991)

A few days ago I saw an anime called Only Yesterday or おもひでポロポロ (Omohide Poroporo).  It aired in Japan in 1991, so you could say it’s pretty old for a movie.  Be that as it may, it really struck a chord in me and made me think of my own situation and what I would like to do with my life. 

Taeko is in her late twenties, unmarried, and yearning to get away from the city, having lived all her life in Tokyo.  She takes a vacation in quiet and provincial Yamagata, to help in the saffron harvest and around the farm.  While traveling, she begins to reminisce about when she was eleven years old, recalling memories of friends, crushes, impending womanhood, and dreams of the future.  As she spends busy but peaceful days helping around the farm, she deepens her friendship with the family she stays with, as well as becomes good friends with Toshio, her brother-in-law’s cousin.  She finds much comfort in the peace and simplicity of life there and starts to contemplate her childhood memories and the kind of life she wants to live from that moment on. 

I’m so glad I gave this story a chance.  I felt so close to Taeko, seeing myself in her situation.  For the longest time now, I’ve had this deep yearning to get away from it all – to abandon the city, my so-called-cushy job, the oftentimes suffocating care of my family – and leave myself to the whims of chance.  I did just that, and I was rewarded with a blessed interval – I was free for a while.  Japan took me in its arms and set me free even as it held me so close.  But my reality just won’t allow me to keep dreaming; it just had to wake me up and pull me back.  So I came back here and still I keep trying to resign myself to the painful choice I made.  But the yearning never left me.  I carry it always like weights attached to my wrists and ankles. 

Recently I went to an island on a very short vacation, and there I found the dream once again.  I saw what I really, really want to do with my life, just like Taeko did.  But of course, Taeko got her wish and I didn’t.  I couldn’t.  Reality and the city keeps pulling me back and won’t let me go.  Now I let every day carry me along and the only comfort I can give myself is the knowledge that my dream actually does exist and I know where it can be found – I can at least fantasize about swimming in clear, deep waters, my skin browning under the sun, and living at the mercy of the beautiful and terrible ocean.  I’m glad Taeko got her happy ending.  I don’t begrudge anyone that particular joy.  And while I cannot have mine, for now, perhaps the dream would be enough. 

First two movies of 2013

The first two movies I saw in 2013.  First, Jack Reacher.  It dwells on the efforts of an ex-army cop to investigate the gunning down of five seemingly random victims by an ex-army sniper with a bad record.  Together with the lovely attorney (Rosamund Pike) with an unshakeable sense of fairness, they try to uncover all the inconsistencies surrounding the shooting and prove that the accused was actually framed for the brutal murders. 

Pros: I liked the plot and the pace of the unfolding events well enough.  Of course they didn’t reveal everything at the outset.  The truth about the murders was slowly but surely revealed, enough to allow you to feel curious about how it’s all going to turn out.  There were also a lot of subtle comedic moments that had me chuckling.  Also, I liked the cars (Camaro, and the white Benz) and Robert Duvall was really cool.  Cons:  Although the mystery surrounding the killings was effectively revealed clue by clue, it wasn’t really gripping or exciting.  Reading a Sherlock Holmes story would give you more of a thrill than this story.  It felt more like events turned out that way just to make Tom Cruise’s character seem smarter, more impressive and heroic.  It was okay, but in the end it all felt too contrived.  The fight scenes were not bad, but lacked impact somehow; like you already expected it all to turn out the way they turn out and it all ended up being a tad bit too predictable.  In the end, it all felt like a half-done thing.  The story could have had merit, but wasn’t delivered too well. The action scenes weren’t bad, but weren’t all that remarkable either.  Overall, I didn’t really understand the point of the movie.   Was it trying to create a glorified image of American soldiers who end up committing crimes?  Was it trying to melodramatize the idea of random gun violence because it’s so rampant in the States nowadays?  Was it trying to just make Tom Cruise look cool (which it quite failed to do, in my opinion)?  I didn’t hate it, but unfortunately it’s not ever going to make my Top 100 favorite movies.  The film flopped in the U.S. 

Next, Life of Pi.  I didn’t read the book, so I don’t know how it compares, and I don’t plan on reading the book.  The movie was visually beautiful, no one can deny that.  It’s more difficult for me to talk about the story’s themes.  Pi tells the story of his life to a journalist (?) who’d been told he would hear a wonderful story that will make him believe in God.  So Pi tells of his childhood – growing up in a zoo, being bullied for having a weird name and how he overcame that, trying out as many as three different religions at the same time, falling in love as a teenager and getting heartbroken, having to leave everything behind for a strange new land, and last but not the least being the only survivor of a shipwreck with only a Bengal tiger for company.  Majority of the movie centers on the moments that transpired while Pi and Richard Parker (the tiger) are lost at sea and struggling to stay alive, how they formed an uneasy friendship, how having to face grief and death in the middle of the beautiful and unmerciful ocean changed his faith and understanding of life and everything.  I loved the ocean and sea life, of course, and the meerkats, and Richard Parker – he’s my favorite. And I understood that the story was trying to get across a message about faith and hope, but unfortunately, story-wise I didn’t appreciate it as much as I thought I would.  In the end I felt it tried nothing more than to proselytize – something that I always resent in anything and anyone.  The acting was good; great even.  Pi was brought to life with sincerity and honesty.  And again, the tiger was splendid.  I just couldn’t get enough of animals in the big screen, especially something as spectacular as a tiger lost at sea.  I was so happy when he got back to the jungle and had lost none of his true wild nature.  I was so happy that he, at least, had never been tamed.  I do recommend everyone to see it.  The film is up for a whole bunch of movie awards and I’m sure it will bag a few of them.  It’s being compared to Avatar a lot, but I have to say I liked Avatar much better.  But that’s me.  Between a sci-fi/aliens love-mother-nature visually awesome fiesta like Avatar and a moralistic/proselytizing love-mother-nature visually awesome fiesta like Life of Pi, I’d choose the former any day.  See it and decide for yourself.  

Lament of the Lamb (OVA 2003)

Based on a manga called 羊の歌 or "Song of the Sheep", the story revolves around a boy named Kazuna who begins to suffer from a strange illness.  He remembers being left behind by his father as a young boy to the care of an uncle and his wife.  In order to find out more about his strange condition, he seeks out his father and discovers that he has died and that he has an older sister with the same illness.  She reveals to him that they are a family afflicted with vampirism.  Thus begins the two siblings' painful journey of accepting their fate, confronting the demons of their past, and trying to separate themselves from the rest of humanity in order not to become monsters that constantly crave blood.  They try to live together and to find solace in their shared suffering, but in the end they could only succumb to the terrible conclusion that awaits their lives. 

I rather liked this anime at the beginning.  I felt like it had really good atmosphere, one of mystery and sadness.  What was disappointing was the pace - it was simply too slow.  They could have told the entire story in half the time it took.  There were too many unnecessary flashback scenes, too many dramatic pauses, and repetition of other melodramatic elements.  It felt more like a Korean drama than a Japanese story.  Although the themes were touching and somewhat thought-provoking, the story would have benefited from a plot with more motion and eventfulness to it and less of the internal struggle from the characters.  It's not too bad, but sadly, I can't say it's on my list of favorites.

Boat-rides

Boat-rides

I love the way he’d look at me

As though I was a pleasant surprise

Each and every time

His eyes would turn my way.

Our eyes would meet, he’d look away

Then find my gaze again.

What sublime secret

Language is this, spoken only

Between two people’s eyes and souls.

I’ve fallen for the way

He’d gently touch these

Silent undersea creatures –

The kindness and reverence

In his hands that I imagine

Could heal any hurt.

There he sits at the prow at ease,

Riding the waves of his home waters,

And speaking island song. 

I see him thus and feel unburdened.

I long for the sea salt-taste of his lips

On mine and his voice in my ear.

He has lived a short while yet, and yet

His wisdom is deep as the sea

That claims him.  I try to

Picture him in my mind and keep him

There away from the world.

But the world never stops pulling me

Back from this ocean I yearn to drown in.

I do not want to forget, but oh,

How quickly we forget

The things that never were.

Let me dive down deep

Into the memory of touch, sound, sight –

The only ocean in which

We two can meet.  

Reactions to some books

Note:  These personal reactions were posted at another blog before. 

THE SIRENS OF TITAN – KURT VONNEGUT

After flying into a chrono-synclastic infundibulum, millionaire astronaut Winston Niles Rumfoord becomes pure energy and exists only as a wave phenomenon, pulsing in a distorted spiral through time, only getting home to Newport, Rhode Island for an hour once every fifty-nine days. But at least he has his dog with him. And he gets to learn everything that has ever happened. And everything that ever will. Which, of course, leads inevitably to the establishment of the Church of God the Utterly Indifferent...

I really don't want to classify this book under Science Fiction, though undoubtedly it has elements of SF in it. But far beyond SF, it is probably one of the most psychological and philosophical, even theological, books I've ever read. It does indeed take you from Earth to Mars, to Mercury, to the moons of Saturn, to Betelguese, and beyond - but never, not once, did it stray from us, the human Earthling. This book is about humanity at its worst and at its most enlightened. It questions who we really are and what the hell are we really doing with our lives and where the hell does God really enter the picture (Hell, is there really a God in the picture?). It asks, and answers, the questions that really matter.

I loved this book through and through. Vonnegut is a genius. No one else could give a read like this where you get space ships and aliens along with religious zealotry and will actually make you doubt which of the two is more believable, more plausible. He does it with pinpoint accuracy and wit, too. It's like crossing Douglas Adams with Thomas Acquinas. What other author could possibly compare?
Well, maybe Terry Pratchett...

THE PENELOPIAD – MARGARET ATWOOD

Elegantly written, wonderful through and through. I finished the whole book in one sitting (lying down, actually, a bad habit). I happen to be one of those nutty people who lovelovelove mythologies. I honestly cried many times while reading the Iliad for the first time, and I still cry when I re-read it. This book really made me look at The Odyssey in a whole new light. I've always admired Penelope, but nothing like the way I see her now. This book is amazing. A definite must-read for all women (alright, men, too), whether a fan of Homeric literature or not.

PORTRAIT OF A MARRIAGE – PEARL S. BUCK

One of the most beautiful love stories I've read in a loooooong while.
A moving story of the great sacrifices that people can make for the ones they love. From the acclaimed author of "The Good Earth."
A worthwhile read. Highly recommended.

Synopsis: William and Ruth came from two different worlds. He was a sensitive, proud artist, son of a rich and often selfish family. She was the unlettered daughter of an earthy Pennsylvania farmer. Yet, from the moment William saw Ruth, he knew he must have her. And with a stubborn intensity that shattered his family's objection, William went after this soft-spoken but provocative woman who knew nothing of art and elegance, but who was all-wise in the ways of love...

HIGH LONESOME – SHORT STORIES BY JOYCE CAROL OATES

A collection of short stories by the author.
I love her writing. Sublime, elegant, and gracefully restrained. Her stories are alternately sad, disturbing, and mysterious. The endings are often puzzling but satisfying nonetheless. The stories leave you wanting to know more, wishing the author wrote more, showed you more, but she didn't. It's like she's deliberately leaving you to make your own impressions and conclusions. So amazing.

Favorites:
Fat Man, My Love
High Lonesome
Life After High School
Will You Always Love Me?
The Tryst
The Dead
The Swimmers

ON THE ROAD – JACK KEROUAC

“During three weeks in 1951, Jack Kerouac wrote the first draft of On the Road - typed as a long, single-spaced paragraph of eight sheets of tracing paper, which he taped together to form a scroll."

On the Road is one of the most influential works of the beat generation, and upon reading it, one can certainly feel the irresistible yearning for that unidentifiable something new, something else in the world beyond what everyone already had resigned themselves to. You just want to drop everything and step out the door and see where your feet (and perhaps a car) will take you.

Reading "The Original Scroll" was like downing a giant coke slushie in one go. The brain freeze and the sugar shock shoots straight through your body and you feel woozy and drunk and dizzy and you wanna dance till your socks fall off - a literary high. I felt like I was there in that car with Jack and Neal, barreling down those roads where only the unknown destination matters.

I didn't bother to read all the forewords and introductions. I couldn't care less what critics and experts say. I loved this book. For me this book is freedom and adventure and daring. I recommend it to anyone who feels boxed in by convention and worry about what others might say. I recommend it to anyone who has glimpsed outside the windows and doors of their lives and has wondered what's out there. I recommend it to anyone who wants to dare themselves to live free.

THE DISPOSSESSED – URSULA K. LE GUIN

For a sci-fi novel, this one is a true classic.
It's almost like reading Orwell's 1984, or Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath.

It's the story of Shevek, a brilliant physicist from an anarchic world.
His ideas rejected, he seeks intellectual refuge by travelling to the mother
world, only to discover that in that world, sharing his ideas would have
consequences he never could have thought of.

The novel is terse and intensely thought-provoking. I loved every moment of it.
It is a book for anyone who enjoys stories that make them look at their
world and rethink the way they live.

Memorable: "True journey is return." & "His hands were empty, as they have always been."

THE GRAPES OF WRATH – JOHN STEINBECK

EVERY GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL OR ANYONE ELSE RUNNING FOR OFFICE, SHOULD READ THIS BOOK.

THE DARK TOWER SERIES – STEPHEN KING

I have followed this series since its inception. I don't really know, nor do I care how many years that has been. And now that I've come to its end, the beginning matters even less. Life is a cycle, and fate is a wheel.

Suffice it to say that for all those years, Roland Deschain has been walking at the edge of my world; not quite within my touch, but there in my world all the same. He, like all my best beloved tragic heroes, have served to hold the edges of my world intact. Because of the lessons I have learned from him, I have not quite frayed so badly yet. I have been held together by the knowing hands of the last gunslinger, and I am most grateful.

I held off reading the last of the series (I've had the whole series in my possession for years, but only recently decided to finish it) for many reasons, but primarily because I was afraid of the ending. It had been a world I'd sort of gotten used to, and perhaps I didn't want to leave it anymore. I had imagined myself in it, breathing its air, speaking an-tet with Roland, Eddie, Susannah, and Jake. I've fancied myself stroking Oy's fur. Laughing and suffering along with them. But leaving a place that had felt like a home to you is sometimes necessary, however painful.

I've always believed that endings are nothing to be afraid of. Life is a cycle, and fate is a wheel. I and Roland's ka-tet will meet again; perhaps when I have found my own rose, the keys to all my unfound doors, and when I've reached the top of my own dark tower and faced the ending that awaits me there. And from there, everything can begin again.

THE BOOK THIEF – MARCUS ZUSAK

Is there anything in the world that is REALLY worth stealing? My answer: Books. This is one of the most wonderful, luminous stories I've read in a while.

My brother and I found this book together. That in itself makes it so special. At that time, neither of us had the money to buy a copy of the book. Did we contemplate becoming book-thieves ourselves? It's certainly worth much more than money. We had to wait awhile before we could read it, and we don't regret the long wait. I can't ever praise this book too much.

The Book Thief is the story of a young girl who sought salvation and redemption in books in the thick of Nazi Germany, told by an unexpected narrator in a voice I will not forget 'til I meet him myself.

I joyfully recommend this book to anyone who loves to read, and loves to live. Unforgettable.

JONATHAN STRANGE AND MR. NORRELL – SUSANNA CLARKE

One of the longest novels I've read recently. But that doesn't mean it's not interesting. On the contrary, no matter how long it took me, I knew I would not be able to rest until I'd finished the book.

The story is about the revival of English Magic by two magicians, a teacher and a student. Their exploits range from the very trivial, almost unnoticeable magic tricks, to changing the course of history, to bridging the gap between different dimensions and planes of existence. It is a magical, historical, literary thrill ride. Even the innumerable footnotes are gripping.

I love the language of the book. The author captured the historical atmosphere of that age, it's dim-duskiness, and its foggy mysteries. I found the use of old spellings delightful. The language transported me to that time and place, where anything and everything seemed possible, and magic was as real as change. I ended up wanting to believe that there truly was magic in the world. The eerily haunting pictures helped create the mood, as well.

I love the characters. They are all believable. Not one of them was perfect and polished. They are all wonderfully quirky and annoying and frustrating and fascinating all at the same time. Even the antagonist was endearing in some ways. My favorites are Jonathan Strange and Stephen Black.

I adore how everything fell into place in the end, and how the story taught me that no matter how powerful a person is, if that power can't be used for a truly worthy cause, and then it might as well be as useless as grass to a dead horse.

I recommend this book to those who like to take their time with a book, and to those who staunchly believe that there is Magic in the world.

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES – RAY BRADBURY

Ray Bradbury writes in poetry. No one could describe the joys and fears, the triumphs and defeats of childhood quite like he can.

This story presents two boys, the best of friends, faced with the ultimate temptation - knowledge. The story also gives us a father's look at the world of his son, his part in it, and how he finds the strength and courage to save his child - and ultimately himself - from the worst kind of evil. It's a story of heroism, redemption, true friendship, and hope that with a little help from our friends and family, no evil will be able to touch us. I'd joyfully recommend this book to anyone, but most especially to fathers.

Thanks for lending me your copy, Kevin.

Winter in Japan

Winter in Japan

When I was

young, a sleeping god thought

long-dead came awake

in anger, fire, and

ash falling softly

from the sky.  I thought,

Snow.

Here I am old in a land where

a sleeping god lies

yet to wake and

snow falling gently

upon my face.  I think,

Ash.

(August 2012)

Note:  When I was a child, Mt. Pinatubo, a volcano long thought to be extinct, erupted in overwhelming violence.  The effects of having released massive amounts of volcanic ash into the atmosphere were seen all over the world.  When I was in my late twenties, I went to Japan and saw another sleeping volcano, covered in pristine white snow...