The Vampire Tapestry

I happen to love the idea of vampires, but when they became fodder for mass teenage hysteria, I had almost given up on them.  For a long time I thought I'd gotten tired of all this vampire business, and then I found this book -

WOW!  "The Vampire Tapestry" by Suzy McKee Charnas.

Every once in a while you encounter something so wonderful - it's almost miraculous.  I don't remember when it was that I read Elizabeth Kostova's "The Historian," but at that time I thought it was just the best vampire story I've encountered.  There was nothing cheesy and corny and sugary about it.  It didn't glamourize the image of vampires and turn them into teenage pop mascots.  The same is true with Charnas' take on this enigmatic image.  These two stories are about struggles with something much more than human control or comprehension.  They portray battles within the self, and with external conflicts.  A look within and beyond a nature that is too often immediately perceived as evil and unnatural.  What is evil?  How do we confront evil, both within and outside of our human nature?  Who are we to say what is evil and unnatural?  Are we not just as wicked as the monsters we label?  These two books go way beyond the question of love and immortality.  They make you look at what it means to be alive - human or not, to grapple with the humanity inside and not to become the monster that we all have hiding within our darkest fears.

In order not to lose my Japanese...

I watch Japanese anime, dramas, and movies online.

It's been two years and two months since I came back from a two-and-a-half-year stay in Japan.  I learned to speak quite fine during that short time, and managed to even pass a proficiency test.  Though slowly but surely, as expected, I'm losing my Nihongo.

Watching Japanese anime, dramas, and movies have been such a big help in retaining what little I have left.  I have hardly any use for a third language here.  Being able to speak Nihongo is something very dear to me - a beautiful memento of the dream-like days I spent in that splendid country.  Just hearing the language being spoken aloud is a priceless experience.  I don't know how many anime, dramas, and movies I've seen so far - too many to remember right now.  I do regret that I didn't bother to keep a record of all the series I've seen to date.  But what better time to begin than now? 

Most recent anime: Nodame Cantabile Finale
I've loved this series since the beginning.  It helps that I have a deep love for classical music as well.  This anime is a hilarious romance centering around eccentric Nodame and the colorful and musical love she shares with Chiaki.  I'd say the story is mostly character-driven, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention that it is the music that gives this series all the more energy and vitality.  It also has a live action version that I've also seen through.  Highly recommended for a good laugh and an inspiring, revitalizing dose of great classical music.  It will lift you up in every way.

J-drama of the moment: Yokai Ningen Bem
"Unexpected" is the most appropriate word I would use to describe it.  One must not be fooled by the premise - this is far from a shallow adventure/hero story.  I can't recall many other stories that have dealt with the suffering, pain, and beauty of being human more deeply and emphatically than this series.  Each episode looks at life from a very different perspective - what would it be like to WANT to be human?  Being human is not easy, and people deal with their difficult lives in very different ways.  Who would want to be human when it seems that all we have is grief, fear, and suffering only to end up dying anyway?  Such questions.  This series is truly worth watching.

I'll try to recall most if not all the other series that I've seen; all those wonderful stories that I've managed to experience in a language foreign and yet so beloved to me.   This is just a beginning.  Let it be good.

Mamma Mia!

I got the chance to see the musical "Mamma Mia!" last Saturday night.
It cost me a lot, but I enjoyed it well.  I also bought a ticket for my sister as a birthday present.
Since she also enjoyed the show, I was glad I didn't hesitate to spend that much for her.

I'm not that big of an Abba fan, but I do recognize the more popular tunes, of course.
My favorite part of the show was "Slipping through my fingers" because it was such
a touching scene - a mother grooming her daughter who is about to be given away in marriage.
The funniest part was definitely "Take a chance on me."  It was just hilarious, and the
song was perfect for that scene.  Next would come "The winner takes it all."  What a powerful
vocal performance that was.  I hope more people all over the world get a chance to see
a show like this.  I wish they would stage something like this for people who live in poverty.

Internationally acclaimed musicals don't often get to be staged in Manila, and when
they do, most only the rich can afford to see them.  I'm lucky to be able to see the few that
I have.  They say "The Phantom of the Opera" is coming soon.  I can't wait to see it.
It's a great favorite of mine.  I'll definitely start saving for that. 

Florence and The Machine - Never Let Me Go

Looking out from underneath,
Fractured moonlight on the sea
Reflections still look the same to me,
As before I went under.
And it's peaceful in the deep,
Cathedral where you cannot breathe,
No need to pray, no need to speak
Now I am under.
And it's breaking over me,
A thousand miles onto the sea bed,
Found the place to rest my head.
Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.
And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,
And all this devotion was rushing out of me,
And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,
The arms of the ocean deliver me.
Though the pressure's hard to take,
It's the only way I can escape,
It seems a heavy choice to make,
Now I am under.
And it's breaking over me,
A thousand miles down to the sea bed,
Found the place to rest my head.
Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go. And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,
And all this devotion was rushing out of me,
And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,
The arms of the ocean deliver me.
And it's over,
And I'm going under,
But I'm not giving up!
I'm just giving in.
Oh, slipping underneath.
Oh, so cold, but so sweet.
In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold,
And all this devotion I never knew at all,
And the crashes are Heaven, for a sinner released,
And the arms of the ocean,
Deliver me.
Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.
Deliver me.
Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.
Deliver me.
Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.
And it's over,
And I'm goin' under,
But I'm not givin' up!
I'm just givin' in.
Oh, slipping underneath.
Oh, so cold, but so sweet.

Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

Just looking

I caught him looking

at me.  He looked away
once our eyes met.  That’s what
we do when we’re caught looking
at someone.  I look away, too. 
And we look at something else –
anything else.  It ends
there, right?  We just look away. 
We just pretend we caught
nothing, and were never caught. 
Does he dare look again?   What if
I catch him again?  I quickly
brush my hand over my face. 
Do I have something embarrassing
hanging from my eyes, my nose?  Run
my tongue over my teeth, check
for stray spinach.  I look again,
but no.  He’s looking away
now; walking away, too. 
I will never know his name.

Summer again

If I retraced the steps I took walking away

from you, would it matter?

If I took back the words I traded

with you, would it change anything?

I don’t want to live with regrets, these bitter

chunks of aftertaste in my mouth where

once I held your flavour. 

Now nothing seems sweet, and all

warmth is gone.  Nothing helps,

not even summer fruit, nor summer sun.

I run down tree-lined lanes

and smell blooming flowers but there is nothing.

Nothing now you’re gone.  You’re gone.