UnScene #5

UnScene #5: Teachers encounter blackboard erasers every day. 

Blackboard Eraser

Patty liked going to school.  She’s naturally curious and liked learning new things.  But she didn’t like going to school all the time.  That’s because her greatest fear was to stand alone in front of class and speak. 

When she was six years old, the teacher made everyone memorize a poem about flowers.  She got the poem down alright, but when she finally stood in front of the class and felt the chilling fear of having many eyes aimed at her, IT happened.

“Haha! She’s peeing!” Greggie began to laugh.  The whole class followed suit.

“Patty-pee-panty!” chanted Greggie.  The whole class followed suit.

Patty started crying, and then ran out of the room and all the way home, where her mom gave her a spanking for ruining her almost-new skirt. 

Since then, whenever the teacher made them memorize anything, Patty would be predictably absent the next day.  To her surprise, her mom actually let her, and even conspired with her to come up with excuses (sometimes it’s a toothache, other times a stomach-ache, etc.).  She didn't seem to mind Patty getting a zero for a grade.

Also since then, Patty was known as “Patty-pee-panty,” thanks to Greggie.  That was three years ago.  Things hadn’t changed much in spite of all that time.  

Nevertheless, Patty mostly still liked school.  Some of the other girls were quite nice to her.  And besides, she was good at other things, like Math.  The teacher didn’t tell them to stand in front of the class and recite anything during Math time.

Until one day, when the teacher wrote some Math problems on the board and began calling on students one by one to come forward and answer them.  Patty froze in her seat; cold sweat suddenly broke out her forehead.  She prayed not to be called.

“Okay, last one,” the teacher said.  “Patricia.”

“I know the answer,” she told herself.  “I don’t need to say anything, or look at them.  Just write the answer.”

Patty stood up.  She walked quickly to the blackboard.  When she was about to reach for a piece of chalk, she heard a familiar voice.

“Patty-pee-panty,” stage-whispered Greggie.  The rest of the class sniggered viciously.

And then IT happened.  Patty reached for the blackboard eraser, fully ripe and quivering with chalk-dust, turned to face the sniggering faces, and zeroed in on one.  She threw with all her might.

Her aim proved true.  The eraser hit Greggie right between the eyes with a gratifying “BOMF!” covering his entire face with snowy chalk-dust. 

Patty let out a loud whoop and began to laugh.  The whole class followed suit.