Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

Just looking

I caught him looking

at me.  He looked away
once our eyes met.  That’s what
we do when we’re caught looking
at someone.  I look away, too. 
And we look at something else –
anything else.  It ends
there, right?  We just look away. 
We just pretend we caught
nothing, and were never caught. 
Does he dare look again?   What if
I catch him again?  I quickly
brush my hand over my face. 
Do I have something embarrassing
hanging from my eyes, my nose?  Run
my tongue over my teeth, check
for stray spinach.  I look again,
but no.  He’s looking away
now; walking away, too. 
I will never know his name.

Summer again

If I retraced the steps I took walking away

from you, would it matter?

If I took back the words I traded

with you, would it change anything?

I don’t want to live with regrets, these bitter

chunks of aftertaste in my mouth where

once I held your flavour. 

Now nothing seems sweet, and all

warmth is gone.  Nothing helps,

not even summer fruit, nor summer sun.

I run down tree-lined lanes

and smell blooming flowers but there is nothing.

Nothing now you’re gone.  You’re gone.

Show You Love - Jars of Clay

Speak- say the words that no one else will ever say
Love- love like the world we know is over in a day

I'm gonna show you a love in every language
I'm gonna speak with the words that need no form
I'm gonna give you what you never had before

You're beautiful and I am weakened by the force of your eyes
So shine bright to separate the truth from the lies
I'm gonna show you love

I'm gonna show you a love in every language
I'm gonna speak with the words that need no form
I'm gonna give you what you never had before

So tie me to a tree and let the smoke and ash collect
No, I won't regret to let love do what love will let
We can drown in mixed emotions or walk across an angry sea
This is the cost of being free

My old friend!

How good to see you again.

Your smile from across the table
is the best garnish for this
pumpkin and carrot soup gone
cold over time.  That joke
we laughed over long ago now
seems new again and funny,
so funny.  Have we grown that old
already?  All our shallow small
talk, tales, and tunes; what
have we really learned
from these nothings we swapped
to kill time and fill space?
How are you now?  Tell me
about this newfound love you keep
smiling over.  That café there
seems ideal for mulling over
love and other losses.  I wish
I’d counted the number
of cups of coffee between us all
this time.  They must be countless
as beats of heart and breaths of air.
I remember how there were less lines
on our faces.  Time changed us, or
we changed time.  In any case,
mine is running out.  This is good, though.
I’m so glad to see you again.

The Touch

I seem to have lost my touch,
and it is really making me sad.
I used to write, you see.  I used to
be able to write. But now I can't
even hold a pen
right.  My penmanship is
getting worse everyday.  The words are
not coming.  No, they are, but they are
not the ones I want. Not the right ones.

I used to love the touch.
I would hone it and sharpen it on the roughest
of words, the most grating ideas.  And smooth
it down till it was fine like
silk and warm water on skin. And words
that flow, I bathed in them. But now I can't
even type a phrase
right.  The embossed letters on
the click-clacking keys bother
my fingertips - braille for the wordless
poet.  They disturb, they tickle
the nerves.  And  still the words,
the right words do not come.

I would love to have the touch
back.  Again and again in a back
and forth motion my pen
scrawls across cheap yellowing sheets,
nudge dormant verses come
awake from lethargic forgetfulness.
My old typewriter's keys singing
an old song.  That song that my fingers
used to play on the black and white.
I used to write.  But now I can't
even remember the feeling of touching
words.  They do not come. 

Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees

Her green plastic watering can
For her fake Chinese rubber plant
In the fake plastic earth
That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans
To get rid of itself

It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out

She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns
He used to do surgery
For girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins

It wears him out, it wears him out
It wears him out, it wears him out

She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run

It wears me out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out

If I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted all the time

All the time...
All the time...

Sleeping Beauty

I would rather not see

the world without him

who shall love me.

This bed shall be haven

and Hell will not have me

until he finds me here,

under the dust I shall be.

What is a hundred years;

what is a moment? No, time

does not matter. It does not

hold me, does not

curse me. Still I shall wait

in dreams. In dreams I'll live,

as I'm dead awake. Unkissed,

untouched, until he.

E.B. White - Charlotte's Web

What an unforgettable story.  I first read this book back when I was in elementary school.  I loved it then and I love it more now that I’ve re-read it in my thirties.  A tale of true friendship that is so simply and honestly told, it could only tell the truth.  Every person, young and old, should read it.

I especially love the way death is presented in this story.  It is not something that is to be feared.  It is sad, yes, but it is merely part of nature and life, just like the changing of the seasons and the growth of children.  How elegantly and gracefully it was handled.  How very beautiful.

Departures (おくりびと)

This is one of the most gracefully told stories I have ever witnessed.  Upon having seen it, it’s really no wonder why it won all that acclaim.  The plot revolves around Daigo, who lost his job and ended up going back to the countryside and landing a job that he assumed had something to do with being a travel agent.  This is a story about the trials that people face in life, a search for a purpose, the human concept of death and the loss, grief, and acceptance that go with it.  It is about family and the relations we have with those people around us who shape our lives.  All of these and more wrapped in an exquisite presentation of Japanese culture and tradition.  How precise and elegant every moment of this film is!  Nothing was overdone.  The music, the performance of the cast, the pacing of the story, everything just flowed smoothly and went straight to the heart.  Every laugh and tear that the movie elicits is well worth it.  “Departures” will be one of my high-ranking favourites from now on.

Adele - Someone Like You

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl
And you're married now

I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you

Old friend why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over

Never mind I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday it was the time of our lives
We were born and raised in a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares no worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes they are memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Tree of Life

I just saw the movie, Tree of Life, starring Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, and Jessica Chastain.
I know that there have been many things said about it, but in my honest opinion it is one
of the best films I've seen for a long while. 

It's not really a "story" type of movie to me - more of an "allegory" or an "idea."
I felt awe, wonder, grief, and ultimately gratitude as I was watching.
The creators of this movie are undoubtedly very deep, poetic thinkers, who just
also happen to be very talented nature photographers/film-makers. 
To my eye, this film was like a conversation with nature and life itself.
It is trying to ask some of the ultimate questions - Where do we come from?
Why are we here? Why must there be death? Why must there be life?
There are also some very human questions about family, parenthood, growing up,
forgiveness, guilt, friendship, and oh, so much more.  I could say more on this,
but I think this is enough.  I might not be able to stop.

I'm glad the Cannes Film Festival gave this movie the distinction it received.
Whether or not it was deserving all depends on individual opinion.
Be that as it may, I definitely think it's worth the discussion.

Soul Music - Terry Pratchett

Soul Music is the 16th novel in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series.
So far I've read all the ones that came before in correct sequence,
and I don't intend to stop.  I just LOVE this series.  Pratchett is a genius.

My favorite Discworld characters are:
1. Death
2. Librarian
3. Vetinari
4. The Watch
5. Luggage

Soul Music revolves around Music With Rocks In.
My favorite moment of the novel is when
Death asks Susan for a kiss for Grandad.  Aww... how sweet.

UnScene #10

UnScene is a series of short stories I write about the  things I witness around me, or thoughts that I have about life and the world as I know it.  

Hair

One afternoon when I was in the fourth grade, I came upon my arch-enemy asleep upon her armchair in the empty classroom. Her face was nestled into her crossed arms and her long, wavy, perfect hair flowed over her shoulders and down her back. The room, the whole school, the whole world, at that moment, seemed to have shut up and held its breath, waiting for what I was about to do.

I stalked toward her, ever so carefully lifted a thick, silky lock of hair as I pulled out my scissors, and cut – quite close to the scalp. I looked down at the horrible stump at the back of her head and felt sick. I walked out of the classroom to the nearest washroom, and as I leaned over the sink I realized I still held Michelle’s hair in my hand. How unfair that it was so smooth and silky it didn’t even tangle in my grip. I threw it into the wastebasket and threw up my lunch in the toilet.

When I got home, I immediately asked to be taken to the salon for a haircut. I had them cut my hair so short, that people often mistook me for a boy in the days that followed.

And at school that Monday, Michelle had had her hair cut, too. But whereas mine frizzed and stood up randomly like my head was a nest built by a blind bird, Michelle’s hair looked cute and smart. I never felt so ugly as I did then.

Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

Persuasion

I have loved Jane Austen since I was a teen-ager.
I love her stories even more now that I am in my thirties.
Persuasion may not be as popular as the others,
but in this, her last published novel, Austen shows the true
depth and breadth of her ability as a story-teller.
This book will grip you and draw you in with such
subtlety and grace, that you will only realize you've been
led in when you're already silently rooting for the
unfortunate lovers and wondering, trying to anticipate
what will happen next.  It is an excellent depiction of what
happens when one lets others influence or control his/her
decisions.  Moreover, it is a portrait of how social standing
can oftentimes dictate the path that one's life can take -
if you let it, that is. Austen was a genius.
This book is living proof.

James and the Giant Peach

I just finished reading this book.
It's so wonderful.  Readers of any age will love it.
It's all about overcoming hardships without losing
one's optimism, good will, and faith in one's friends -
even if those friends happen to be giant insects.
Fun and adventure all around; as magical as a bag
of enchanted crocodile tongues.

For me, time seems to move so slowly.
Every day seems to be a replay, or a copy of the previous one.
Tomorrow will yet be another repeat of today, and of yesterday.
I feel so impatient to see what's next, what comes after this.
I wonder if anything will ever change?  Will it always be like this,
always waiting for something new, something different?
It's very tiresome to wait, and it seems I'll be perpetually waiting.
They say, "Time flies when you're having fun."
But my time seems to be flying in slow motion.  Very slow motion.
I must not be having fun.  How very sad.

Natsume Soseki - I am a Cat

I'm reading this book.
It's taking me a while to finish it, but it's been quite enjoyable so far.
I love the way the cat thinks.  His observations are honest and witty.
He's not at all shy about telling things as they are.  Humans could use
such a straightforward attitude themselves, no doubt about it.
Full of wit and wisdom, it's amazing how a book written so long ago
by a man from an entirely different culture as mine, could transcend 
all of these boundaries and impediments to strike straight into the true
nature of being human - from a cat's perspective no less.

Simply awesome.

Hyde - Season's Call

Karami tsuku kazeni sakarai
Ushinatta kisetsu wo sagashite iru
Wazuka demo mesasu houkou he
Azayakana kioku ga tsuki ugokasu

How many cuts should I repeat?
How many fates should I accept?
Does it have an end?

Itsumo karada juu wo kimi ga kake meguri afuresou
Dakara kowaku nai yo asu mo
Because I always feel you in me.

Kawaki kitta nodo he nagashita kimi no me de
Kokoro wo uruoshiteku
How many cuts should I repeat?
How many fates should I accept?
Does it have an end?

Haruka ano tori no you
Sora wo tobi koete yuketara
Itsumo tsutaetai iyou ai wo
Because I always feel you in me.

You taught me how to love. I feel.
I can do anything.
Yume ni egaku sekai wo kimi no me no mae ni hirogetai
Dakara kowaku nai yo asu mo
My beloved season calls me.
Because I always feel you in me.

Try - Nelly Furtado

All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
but the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try
Try

All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
And that's you, baby
This is me, baby
And we are, we are, we are, we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love

The Death of TL

A very good friend of mine, who until just the other day
I've always thought of as a "hopeless romantic", said to me:
"I don't believe in true love anymore either."

This friend of mine, she's one in a million - someone who is
genuinely good and unpretentious. I've always kind of
seen her as a cute, innocent little sister who I must protect
from the flawed, cruel, and unforgiving world. I've always loved
her charming naivete. In my eyes she seemed forever young.

When I thought back on her words, I felt like the overprotective
busybody elder sister realizing that her little lamb had suddenly grown up.
This sweet girl with whom I've had the most stimulating discussions with
about the romantic mythos has declared she didn't believe anymore
in something she used to staunchly, steadfastly, persistently tried to defend.

Now me being me, I didn't think much about it at that time.
But later I thought, "Did she really say what I thought she said?"
Yes, she did. And I quite shocked myself when I found out that
it made me feel quite sad, indeed. That's it, then.
The Death of True Love.

If even the hopeless romantics don't believe in it anymore,
then it can't possibly be possible anymore.
I try to count on my ten fingers how many more people
I know still hold on to their faith that TL is alive and well.
Yep, I still need more than two hands for that. But as of
Tuesday night, the God of Love just might have lost another worshipper.

A moment of silence for the dying...

This is not a poem though

just the other day I was
told I could be
a poet. So
I tried to write
fancy dancing
worded nonsense. Of course
I wish it were
true and my words
could be true beauty but
I fail, and wait.
Write. Right. Fail again.
My apologies. I am no
poet. A poet is
only as good as a poem.
This couldn't be
a poem, could it?