Ghosts

There have been very, very few men in my "romantic" life. I have long gotten over them; it's been years since I last saw or spoke to them. I wish them well, but don't wonder what kind of life they're living and I don't make any effort to find out. They no longer stir any feelings in my heart. Except annoyance and irritation. 

I'm nothing special. I am just one of billions of people out there, trying to live my days out peacefully in my own tiny little corner of the world. Yet they seem to not have even made the slightest effort to forget about me. They follow me around online. Maybe they google me or something. They send me things.  I hate it. I wish they'd leave me alone. I wish they'd forget about me completely. I don't want them to be thinking about me anymore. I don't begrudge them their memories, but I wish they wouldn't act on them. Why are they so fixated anyway? Are all men like that? Do they constantly update themselves about their old girlfriends? Is it a matter of pride and vanity for them? How stupid! 

Perhaps it's too much attachment, too much fixation. Or maybe too much bitterness. In any case, it's been years. GET OVER IT! People ought to be able to live their lives without dwelling too much on the past, and without getting too attached to anything in this world. We're all dying, after all. Life is too short to waste on people who would rather forget and be forgotten - that would be ME. 

So to all the ghosts out there who keep haunting people from their past, move along. The grass must surely be greener, the fish more plentiful, the honey sweeter, the women less opposed to being the victims of stalking, there on the other side. 

(I wrote the above essay more than a year ago and posted it elsewhere online, hoping that the intended target got the message.  I suppose it's too subtle for him because he still managed to do something really unpleasant and irritating to me recently.  I don't want to name names, but it’s getting to the point where I won't regret naming the guy.  YOU out there, leave me alone already!)

Psychic Detective Yakumo （心霊探偵八雲）

I just finished watching this anime series.  心霊探偵八雲 (Shinrei Tantei Yakumo) was released in 2010, and was based on a novel by Manabu Kaminaga.  They also adapted the same story into a manga (Japanese comic book series), a live action drama series, and a stage play, I think. 

The story revolves around Yakumo, whose left eye is a demonic red colour and with which he is able to see the spirits of the dead. Because of this “affliction” he chooses to keep to himself and tries to isolate himself by being quite abrasive and anti-social.  Things begin to change when he meets Haruka, a girl who heard of his rumoured psychic abilities, and came to consult with him regarding the possession of her friend by the spirits of some dead.  Haruka is the first person Yakumo met who thinks his red eye is beautiful and who doesn’t behave as if he’s some kind of freak.  They solve her case, and from then on the connection is made.  As the series progresses, we meet the other characters whose lives are intertwined with Yakumo’s.  As more and more strange cases are thrown their way, they begin to discover that the master manipulator and perpetrator of these crimes is actually someone who is targeting none other than Yakumo himself. We get to know more and more about Yakumo as his mysterious past is slowly unveiled and he begins to change into a much kinder person who is more accepting of himself and of others.

The pace of the series is good enough, and the storyline holds enough mystery that carries you well to the last episode – there is never too much information revealed to make it predictable at any point during the series.  I also liked the soundtrack; I found it fitting with the mood and tone of the story.  Character development is where my peeve lies, especially with regard to the villain.  The villain’s persona went largely ignored and I was left with too many unanswered questions.  How did he get to be the way he is?  What were his motivations?  Personally, I really like it when a story is as much about the villain as it is about the hero; or when the lines are really blurred between these roles.  That’s not the only problem here either.  All the other characters, except Yakumo, are pretty much flat and stereotyped.  But then, I suppose the story is supposed to be all about Yakumo anyway, so.  I’d say this anime is pretty entertaining and interesting.  It wasn’t boring, but it wouldn’t be in my top ten.  Give it a try, maybe it’d be more to your taste than mine.  Have fun! 

the crowd

On the way to my usual destination this morning, I passed by the scene of an accident. The two vehicles, an owner-type jeep and a blue sedan, were both horribly wrecked. It looked like a head-on collision. I craned my neck, wondering what happened to the passengers, if anyone had died. Suddenly, a flash of memory.


There had been this show on TV called Tales from the Dark Side many years ago. In one episode, entitled “The Crowd”, a man had died in a car accident. As his spirit was leaving his body, he saw the faces of the people who had gathered around his broken body to look at it. Since his own spirit was restless, he wandered around, trying to remember something he couldn’t recall, and observing those who still walked around following their own regular routines. But he stayed on that street where he sort of remembered that something important had happened. As he stood there watching and waiting, another accident happened. He rushed to the scene, joining the crowd of other curious onlookers. Then he noticed that the faces of the people around him were the same faces of those who had looked at him as he himself lay dying on the concrete road. That’s when it became clear to him: he was dead. And the people around him were the ghosts of the people who had also died in similar circumstances. He was now one of the crowd.


As I was there looking on, I realized that a crowd of onlookers had indeed formed around the scene of the accident, observing, whispering among themselves. And I was one of them.

(posted elsewhere 17 Aug 2005)