I’m not sure whether I’m fortunate or not, growing up in an environment where there are few small children around. My younger cousins and I meet only during those holiday family gatherings, so I never had the experience of helping out in "raising" any kids. Curiously enough, little kids seem to like me. I always get sugary smiles from them, which warms my heart and my ego; and they seem to be very friendly toward me, wanting to play and talk with me. I really like it when they do that. But to be honest, I’m not the motherly type. I often get wary of children and I try not to interact with them too much.
Then I met Zach. Not even a year old, and such a charmer! I’ve never met a baby with such a happy disposition. It was at a children’s birthday party, busy people, games and laughs and children running around everywhere. Zach and his mom were seated right next to me. Now, I know all babies are cute and cuddly and all that, but this boy is just too… juicy! Too cute to resist, even for a cynic like me. I couldn’t stop staring at him with this wide smile plastered on my face. He’s so happy that he makes you happy, too. For a while, there was absolutely nothing wrong with the world. No wars, no conflicts, no poverty, no corruption, no misunderstanding. It was made to be the perfect playground for this child.
Then time passed, and soon the party was at an end. I just had to hold Zach in my arms even for a little while. I carried him and whispered little ideas into his ears and I showed him the rain pouring outside. He stopped smiling for a while and looked straight into my eyes: deep, haunting, and completely trusting. He laid his head on my shoulders and wrapped his arms around my neck. I had to fight the urge to cry. This child will soon grow old and would have to face the world in all its bitter reality. Soon the innocence in his eyes and his heart will fade away, in the manner of all innocence. And in that moment I wanted to protect him from the world, to take his innocence and keep it from everything and everyone else. It was too precious to be lost. But time is no one’s slave. I gave him back to his mom and said my goodbyes. Not just to Zach, but to the precious innocence that I held for a moment but was never mine to keep, but I will always, always remember.
Then I met Zach. Not even a year old, and such a charmer! I’ve never met a baby with such a happy disposition. It was at a children’s birthday party, busy people, games and laughs and children running around everywhere. Zach and his mom were seated right next to me. Now, I know all babies are cute and cuddly and all that, but this boy is just too… juicy! Too cute to resist, even for a cynic like me. I couldn’t stop staring at him with this wide smile plastered on my face. He’s so happy that he makes you happy, too. For a while, there was absolutely nothing wrong with the world. No wars, no conflicts, no poverty, no corruption, no misunderstanding. It was made to be the perfect playground for this child.
Then time passed, and soon the party was at an end. I just had to hold Zach in my arms even for a little while. I carried him and whispered little ideas into his ears and I showed him the rain pouring outside. He stopped smiling for a while and looked straight into my eyes: deep, haunting, and completely trusting. He laid his head on my shoulders and wrapped his arms around my neck. I had to fight the urge to cry. This child will soon grow old and would have to face the world in all its bitter reality. Soon the innocence in his eyes and his heart will fade away, in the manner of all innocence. And in that moment I wanted to protect him from the world, to take his innocence and keep it from everything and everyone else. It was too precious to be lost. But time is no one’s slave. I gave him back to his mom and said my goodbyes. Not just to Zach, but to the precious innocence that I held for a moment but was never mine to keep, but I will always, always remember.
(posted elsewhere 30 Aug 2005)
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