I am always mystified by the way people behave toward each other. This tells me that I should have taken Sociology as a major. But I suppose that can’t be changed now, though it does give me an idea for future reference. It occurs to me, after more than twenty-six years of hanging around as a human, that there’s a general truth among that social species known as “people”. They will talk. Bad.
No matter who you are – what age, what gender, what civil status, what level below or above the poverty line, and so on and so forth – other people will always (and I do mean ALWAYS) have something objectionable to say about you. It has a lot to do with moral standards and levels of righteousness among individuals, and maintaining facades, etc., etc., but the thing is, didn’t we all grow up into these more or less identical moral and social standards? And is it not true that we are all more or less in an unending state of “testing the waters” of these same standards? Aren’t we all in one way or another susceptible to bending, breaking, and going beyond these so called “rules”? Why then must we keep questioning each other, finding suspicion and malice among each other, pointing accusatory fingers at each other, throwing the “first stone/s” at each other, ad nauseum, ad infinitum? No one is spared. We are all under the warped judgments and scrutiny of everyone else around us who, by the way, are also facing the same dilemmas. Isn’t it absolutely ridiculous? Here are a few examples:
Gender: 1. If you’re female, people will say, “You’re a girl, you shouldn’t (kilometer-long roster of do’s and don’ts).” 2. If you’re male, people will say, “Since you’re a man, you should (kilometer-long roster of do’s and don’ts).”
Civil Status: 1. Two single, unattached people of different gender may not have a genuine friendship without anyone asking the inevitable question, “So what’s the real deal, are you guys an item or not?” 2. Regardless of gender, a single, unattached person may not have a genuine friendship with a married individual without anyone saying, “You should not hang around and be all friendly with him/her. S/he being married and all, it just doesn’t look good. What will people think?” 3. Two individuals who are married to other individuals may not have a genuine friendship without anyone saying, “What do you think you’re doing, being friendly with him/her? You’re married, for chrissakes!” 4. People who are either divorced or widowed may not begin building new relationships without anyone saying, “How shameless! The ink hasn’t even dried on the divorce papers!” or “How could you? Your wife/husband must be turning in her/his grave!”
Age: 1. Children not above the age of ten make friends easily with other youngsters regardless of anything – age, sex, social standing, etc. Parents observing this phenomenon will say “My child should not be friends with that child because (any stupid unreasonable reason).” 2. Pre-pubescent to adolescent age youths grappling with identity crises tend to find safe haven among friends, developing puppy loves, and the intricacies & complexities of social interactions. Adults observing these phenomena will say, “When I was that age, I never did (any vague half-forgotten and regrettable adolescent experience). What’s wrong with kids nowadays?” 3. Adults firmly believing in the misunderstood but otherwise heady achievement of independence go about the world finding social stability and security while hoping that they’d have some fun along the way. Other adults observing this phenomenon will say, “What was s/he thinking? How could s/he even (any action or achievement that I myself wish I could do or had)? Didn’t anyone tell that person that it’s wrong?” 4. People in the advancing years, groping with the dilemmas that aging presents, try to make the most of their time by engaging in hobbies, enjoyable activities, and socializing and reminiscing with people of the same age group. Other people upon observing these phenomena will say, “How embarrassing! S/he should not (any activity that I myself could only wish I could do) at that age! What will people think?” 5. Upon death, while the person is being lowered six feet into the earth, the people gathered around will say, “What a pity s/he had to die that way. S/he lived a miserable, unadventurous, unexciting life because s/he always followed the rules.”
(posted elsewhere 12 Nov 2005)
No matter who you are – what age, what gender, what civil status, what level below or above the poverty line, and so on and so forth – other people will always (and I do mean ALWAYS) have something objectionable to say about you. It has a lot to do with moral standards and levels of righteousness among individuals, and maintaining facades, etc., etc., but the thing is, didn’t we all grow up into these more or less identical moral and social standards? And is it not true that we are all more or less in an unending state of “testing the waters” of these same standards? Aren’t we all in one way or another susceptible to bending, breaking, and going beyond these so called “rules”? Why then must we keep questioning each other, finding suspicion and malice among each other, pointing accusatory fingers at each other, throwing the “first stone/s” at each other, ad nauseum, ad infinitum? No one is spared. We are all under the warped judgments and scrutiny of everyone else around us who, by the way, are also facing the same dilemmas. Isn’t it absolutely ridiculous? Here are a few examples:
Gender: 1. If you’re female, people will say, “You’re a girl, you shouldn’t (kilometer-long roster of do’s and don’ts).” 2. If you’re male, people will say, “Since you’re a man, you should (kilometer-long roster of do’s and don’ts).”
Civil Status: 1. Two single, unattached people of different gender may not have a genuine friendship without anyone asking the inevitable question, “So what’s the real deal, are you guys an item or not?” 2. Regardless of gender, a single, unattached person may not have a genuine friendship with a married individual without anyone saying, “You should not hang around and be all friendly with him/her. S/he being married and all, it just doesn’t look good. What will people think?” 3. Two individuals who are married to other individuals may not have a genuine friendship without anyone saying, “What do you think you’re doing, being friendly with him/her? You’re married, for chrissakes!” 4. People who are either divorced or widowed may not begin building new relationships without anyone saying, “How shameless! The ink hasn’t even dried on the divorce papers!” or “How could you? Your wife/husband must be turning in her/his grave!”
Age: 1. Children not above the age of ten make friends easily with other youngsters regardless of anything – age, sex, social standing, etc. Parents observing this phenomenon will say “My child should not be friends with that child because (any stupid unreasonable reason).” 2. Pre-pubescent to adolescent age youths grappling with identity crises tend to find safe haven among friends, developing puppy loves, and the intricacies & complexities of social interactions. Adults observing these phenomena will say, “When I was that age, I never did (any vague half-forgotten and regrettable adolescent experience). What’s wrong with kids nowadays?” 3. Adults firmly believing in the misunderstood but otherwise heady achievement of independence go about the world finding social stability and security while hoping that they’d have some fun along the way. Other adults observing this phenomenon will say, “What was s/he thinking? How could s/he even (any action or achievement that I myself wish I could do or had)? Didn’t anyone tell that person that it’s wrong?” 4. People in the advancing years, groping with the dilemmas that aging presents, try to make the most of their time by engaging in hobbies, enjoyable activities, and socializing and reminiscing with people of the same age group. Other people upon observing these phenomena will say, “How embarrassing! S/he should not (any activity that I myself could only wish I could do) at that age! What will people think?” 5. Upon death, while the person is being lowered six feet into the earth, the people gathered around will say, “What a pity s/he had to die that way. S/he lived a miserable, unadventurous, unexciting life because s/he always followed the rules.”
(posted elsewhere 12 Nov 2005)
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